Confessions of a recently released Relief Soceity President

Thirteen days after I arrived in Naples I was called to serve as the Relief Society President of our bilingual, multicultural branch. I was completely surprised and a little scared at the call but mostly I was really excited to serve the Lord and the Sisters here in Italy. I went to work right away enthusiastic and optimistic. But it didn't take long for me to feel the weight of the responsibility I was called to carry. There was a lot of work to be done and not very many members to do it! I did the best I could trying to fill the needs of the Sisters with the limited resources I had to work with. It was tough but like the feeding of the 5,000 with five loaves of bread and two fishes I know the Lord blessed me and helped make what I had to give enough to fill those who were willing to receive it. Of course there were times and situations where what I had to give wasn't enough, when I made mistakes, over looked things that should not have been overlooked, etc. But I know the Lord blessed me as I served- giving me strength and patience and love beyond my own ability. I did the best I could do though I know I fell short many times.

Anyway, on Sunday March 1st after serving as President for just over 18 months I was released. It was a bitter sweet experience for me. Of course, I have been released from many other callings in the past but this one was different... harder. I expected to feel a tremendous sense of relief once it was all over... but I didn't. What I felt more than anything was a tremendous sadness. I realized in that moment, sitting in my seat waiting for my name to be called, that what I had been doing as a Relief Society President was far more important to me than it was to anyone else. When I was released I thought I have put my blood, sweat and tears into every aspect of my calling for the last year and a half. Will I ever be the same without these Sisters in my life? while everyone else thought, Hum... interesting. Gosh, I wonder who the new President will be? I realized that all of the time and energy and testimony I put into to trying to make a difference in the lives of the women I served probably made a bigger difference in my life than anyone else's. And while that is not bad (changing my life more than others) it is not what I expected. And it has got me feeling like maybe I did it all wrong. Maybe I missed the mark. Maybe I was released because I just couldn't get it right. Perhaps those if you that have served as Relief Society President before understand what I am feeling. Or perhaps I am just overly sensitive and completely insecure and am the only one who has ever felt this way. But which ever it is, I want to feel good about the service I gave- confident that I gave the best I could give and that it was acceptable to the Lord. I want to have faith that God is pleased with what I have done and how I have grown.

All I really know is that I love the Relief Society. And I feel so blessed to be a part of an organization that teaches me what it means to be a women and wife and mother of God. So even though I don't have all of my feeling figured out yet and I know it is going to be really difficult for me to participate in Relief Society as a member and not as the President, I will go and partake of the goodness that exists among the Sisters of the Church! I know Relief Society is where I need to be!

Anyway, here is a little video I made about the Relief Society for our Birthday Dinner this year.
I hope you enjoy it!